Today I asked Jamil Qureshi whether enemies can ever become friends
Hello, Jamil. So I want to talk again about North and South Korea. And of course, we’re watching the Olympics very keenly. Do you think that enemies can ever become friends?
Very good question isn’t it? We have departments which don’t get on. We have leaders who don’t get on. We have countries that don’t get on. I think enemies can become friends. The key is common ground, always.
I think that we need to detach the action from the person. What I mean by that is that people can fail, it doesn’t make them failures; people can make mistakes, it doesn’t make them a mistake. So, people can do different things, which we may not necessarily agree on but that might be their tactic, their strategy, but their intention might be different.
So what we need to do to understand the actual people themselves, people who we believe we’re not friends with, is try to separate what they do and the reason why they do it. So once we start to, I guess, compartmentalize and instead of just see them as one entity that we don’t like because of their thoughts and behaviours, maybe try and separate some of those thoughts and behaviours, understand the motivation and intention, and seek to find common ground.
Once we start to disagree with someone or enter into conflict, they are more likely to enter into conflict with us. If someone has an opposing view instead of fight them with your opposing view, it’s probably best to understand why they have that particular viewpoint. Allow them to do the talking, try and unravel or understand their particular perspective and where their thoughts have come from. And with that greater understanding, we might be able to find common ground.
That’s really good; thank you very much.